Thursday, December 11, 2014

plucking eyebrows and eyelashes, licking, games, minecraft and autism

Since we arrived in the state with 4 seasons (hahaha), Ax has been putting out his tongue all over his mouth during the cold days. Also, he started plucking his eyebrows and eyelashes for being excited not due to stress. There were weeks that he almost removed his eyebrows and also months that his eyelashes are hardly visible. Of late, like 9 months now, he has been displaying a normal behavior - no plucking his eyebrows and eyelashes and no licking all over his mouth. At the moment it is so cold and he has been on his best behavior. He also began venturing to playing games again but many times did not like it and just left the console everywhere. He does not like the idea of losing in a game and that drove him to just leave playing games all together and just browse the internet. Minecraft was born and he first sat beside his father and watched the game intensely. He only became interested when his 2 siblings began playing and becoming so interested. Still, there are times that he skipped playing and just went to youtube.com. Toward the 4th quarter of 2014, he had been playing again just like when he was 2 or 3 years of age. There were also times and even until now that he could not accept getting killed in Minecraft. He would wail and be angry at the same time. He is asked sternly to go to bed because we might lose another laptop or computer this time around. He is not playing normally in Minecraft like his siblings. He just wants to kill the zombies, spiders or whatever enemies that come along his way. Sometimes, he also kills the Minecraft pets of his sister. Then, his sister cried and kept telling him not to kill her Minecraft pets. This time around, I think, he understood.



Sunday, December 7, 2014

Having autism and food that he eats

Since he was a young child, he has been eating as normal as possible. He is not afraid to taste new food and once I see that he may like the new food, I keep giving it to the kids and that includes him.

He likes to eat rice and a viand or shall I say, I serve rice all the time so he eats it. He eats all sorts of viands and would try them all yet he is skinny. I also make sure the kids eat vegetables all the time. They may vomit at first but since I keep giving the same vegetables, they had adjusted to eating vegetables, rice and meat/fish. All three kids eat bittermelon that I sauteed. It is bitter! We do not have a supply of soda in the house. The kids just drink water all the time. Although, when we go to fast food restaurants, there is a tendency to drink soda. In regular restaurants, we just ask for water all the time.

At school, I normally give him celery and the ranch we get from the fast food restaurants. He likes them. I limit the intake of sweets. We have piles of chocolates on the table but the kids rarely get them. The candies are also not part of our household. They just collect candies from birthday parties @ school and during Halloween and leave them. However, there are few times I saw Ax trying the candies. He likes cookies but like I aforementioned, the kids are limited in their sweets. I would rather throw the ice cream than have him eat all that is served to him. His siblings are not into ice cream as well.

As for fruits, he eats mango, strawberry, peeled apple, watermelon, melon, grapes, banana, blueberry, peaches, pineapple. I remember that at first, he did not like the strawberry and was about to vomit but I was persistently serving the fruit so he got used to it. It is the same story with his two siblings.

Playing Minecraft and "dying" - autism

A comment I made in one of the websites talking about autism:
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Hi. We have tried Omega 3 Fatty Acids for more than a year now. I do not see that much improvement though. We have also been using Olive Oil only for like 10 years and it still does not make a difference. What we notice though is that, it comes with age, meaning, there comes a point in one's life that aggression is lessened as he grows older. Also, we are doing time-outs if he gets angry over the fact that the youtube.com is taking a long time to load the video or the video is stalling or he is not yet done watching the video or he is losing/dying in Minecraft. We ask him to go to bed and just rest and behave there. Last year (12 years old), was his notorious year of aggression. This year, it has subsided significantly.

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12/7/14

I hope he continues to have a good year and the next years thereafter. You see, we have lost like 5 tablets and 3 laptops because he was angry that he was losing in Minecraft. I know it costs money to have these and just be damaged but they are just things, so we need to move on. When he gets angry about losing or dying in Minecraft, he goes to the screen and just pierce the screen so hard as if it has a bug that has to be killed. Hence, we lost all of those.

He still plays Minecraft and this time, we told him that if he loses, he has to go to bed and rest and be calm. It has been working so far. His newest PC is still there.

Write-up when he entered the school system

For now, life is still as edgy as life in the streets. We are just some notches above the people who live in the streets and living/fighting day to day for our son who has autism. I, for one, has been his very vocal advocate. I have never stopped believing in his capacities and capabilities as a person since I made a terrible mistake when he was still in potty training. It turned out, I was just not that patient with him in the success of potty training. I should had never doubted that he might not move away from the use of diapers/pull-ups. I was wrong. He learned fast enough once his pre-K teacher Ms. D and her school assistant also helped in the potty training for AX. He finished his pre-K with few mishaps on his pull-ups. He had successfully transitioned to wearing underwear when he was in K. Since this incident, I have promised him that I will always believe in him and that has never failed. There are times that I felt spending too much time researching/studying/learning/writing about autism. However, I am still able to care for his two younger siblings. I just find time-crunching when all three have many school assignments. I really have no qualms about school assignments. I just hope they do a lot of school work @ school since the kids spend 6 hours there.

Update @ 13 years of age

 Below is part of my comment to a mother with a son who has autism in his mid-20s.

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I am trying to track down the transformation of my son when he was still so young going up to his current age because I want him to function as normal as possible just like us. I have not given up that idea. Hence, I taught him and still am teaching him from academics to life skills. He goes to a school in a classroom for children with LLD. However, the school right now wants to kick him out to a Multiply-Disabled and/or ABA classroom. Well, I am still fighting that. It seems like that students with autism in NJ are usually being just prepared for life skills so I can not understand the fact that NJ has best schools for children with autism. I want kids to learn, be taught and be knowledgeable to prepare them for life but I saw also in one of your videos that you did not like the idea of teaching him how to use the seat belt and how to open the car as he might bolt out. I understand the issues for some people who have a tendency to elope but sometimes, teaching them what should be done over and over, they will surely get it into their heads. Well, I believe so much in children or adults with autism that they can function like us if we and the people around them just give them the chance to learn. Learning is a lifelong process for all people. We constantly learn things, if we do not, then life can be boring and useless. Somehow, I am still full of hopes no matter what happens but of course, at the back of my mind, there are still worries of what will happen when he grows up and such. Then, I reminded myself back when I was young, even though, there were no apparent disabilities in me and with my siblings, we were extremely poor. I would worry so much where we will get our next food, if we will be able to go to college. Life is always uncertain and that makes it interesting for we can devise what we will do next if one fails or is not what we expected. I know, there is still a long road ahead but I try not to think of it too much so it will take its own course.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Some Private Schools in Northern NJ for Children with Autism

I have written this way back in first to 2nd quarter of 2012 in our quest for a private school that have the benefits of being with neuro-typical students housed in the same building. In northern NJ, many of them or shall I say, almost all of them, the private schools do not have a mixture of neuro-typical and students with disabilities. I do not like this set-up because we are not living in a segregated world just like the stark experiences of Blacks and Whites. Students with disabilities have to be incorporated or included in this world of ours. Of course, there are parents who have different views but all we want is what is best for our children.

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We have been looking for a private school for AX and so far, we have seen three of them within the county. We are looking for a school that somehow mirrors what he has in the public school and that is, surrounded by neuro-typical children. I know I would not find one but still I put aside the doubts and hope that there is something in the private schools that AX may be able to fit in. As expected, the private schools we visited are not suited for him although one has humane touch in it but enriching the mind is far from their goals. I was told that all schools know that their children will not reach or go to college. I am not saying that going to college is the ultimate goal. I just want AX to enjoy what other kids of his age are enjoying. In this coming school year, we will take AX back to his school. I hope for the best.


The South Bergen Jointure Commission (SBJC) in Lodi is located in front of a nunnery and beside a small cemetery perhaps, for the nuns. The assistant principal is knowledgeable and explained to us their mission/services. SBJC houses students with autism and children with multiple disabilities until age 21. It is a pretty neat place but very empty. It has more classrooms and staffs than students studying there. I got alarmed with this ratio. The Math room, computer room, PE rooms were vacant. The computer teacher was busy poking his cellphone and immediately hid it the moment he saw us coming. There were no students inside. The Math room is quite neat since the textbooks and exercise books are hardly untouched. We saw some students who were the ages of AX and they are probably Jewish. The students went in front of the nunnery building where there is a gazebo and well-manicured grass/lawn. The scene reminds me of the movie, Shutter Island, when Leonardo went to the mental hospital to do some investigation. He and his colleague passed by the widespread beautiful lawn where the mentally-ill patients are busy doing their businesses.

The second private school we visited was Phoenix Center in Nutley, NJ. It was really a pain to go here from our place just like the third private school that I will mention later. It was raining heavily on the day of our visit. The drive in Garden State Parkway was like visiting Hades and I had to make sure to read every exit. It was hard to find a parking space when I finally located the school. I saw the front of the school and parked in front just like all the other cars of parents or their helpers taking the kids to school. Many arrived late due to the inclement weather. The front office has this stern lady whose voice reminds me of the lead actress in 101 Dalmatians. The case manager or the person-in-charge arrived late and somehow immediately showed us the classrooms. The children with disabilities were mostly young. It was nice to see that set-up and any parents would immediately fall to help and still aim for a better future. There are also classrooms with children who are restrained. One child was far away from his peers and was with his male assistant. We were told that the child would be overwhelmed when he is with the group so he was seated within a significant distance from the rest just like he has leprosy. On another side note, the building is very suffocating. Its windows are all closed. If I am not mistaken, the gym is underground and there is another level below that they are using. Actually, my head hurt during the tour.


Our third private school is in Montclair, NJ. The school is called Sawtelle Learning Center. It is somehow affiliated with YCS. I view children with autism no matter how wild, how disconnect, how timid, how muted, how talkative as children who can still think. During and after visiting Sawtelle, all my fears of what other people are doing to children with autism came into light. You see, a floor below the main office is a room where we saw a kid blocked in a corner with a table and two female adults were somehow restraining him. The poor black boy was being hurt. The older female grabbed the boy's head and tilted it backwards. The boy was fighting back and shouting. All the while that this was happening I noticed that the lights were off. The moment our backs were facing them the lights were on. It was hard to see how a skimpy kid is restrained by two female adults. It is just not right. In one classroom, the teen boy was wimping and we asked his age. He managed to answer. The principal said, he is just acting up (in reference to his wimping). One big boy in his teenage years was on his seat and on his desk was a piece of paper. He is tasked to do adding single digits just like Kindergarteners. I can not believe how low these people in the school think of these kids but it is really disheartening to see the kids who are rocking on their seats and looking blankly on the walls. The staff members are adequate in number, I think. It is just that when we went there, it seems like the kids were all over. Many are not attended adequately. A big boy in his teens was on the floor for quite some time and the 2 teachers are on their nerves most likely because the visitors (us and another parent) were there. It was disheartening to see him in that state and all the others are looking at us like they have seen for the first time some people outside of the building.

We went to a fourth school and I believe, it is Washington South Program in Paramus. This is a public school. If I am not mistaken, this building is like a hospital from the outside and it is surrounded by different government offices. Once we got here, the place is like entering a hospital for the mentally-ill people! In one hallway, we passed by a boy who did not want to go with the paraprofessional so he dropped himself to the floor. The paraprofessional was having a hard time dealing with the student who was about less than 10 years of age. I noticed that in one classroom with young kids like 5 years old, the atmosphere was good. It seems like the personnel believe that these students with disabilities can still be rescued or helped. That is always the case in many public and private schools I have been into. However, as the students age, the desire to educate them (with modifications or significant modifications) just like they are typical students, lessen. It is just sad. The school has a big gym and also an OT kind of room. I think, AX was with me when we were seeing this school as I remember he wanted to play with some of the furniture/toys in the OT room. The lady in-charge is accommodating but somehow reserved. If I remember correctly, many of the students there stay for good and will not or have not been returned to their respective districts.

Starting B6 and Magnesium

Some days are noisy and some days are just whispers that you could hardly decipher what is being told. Have been away from writing as I just put my thoughts in my e-mail and let things pile up there. Many times, it is the best so people will not misconstrue.


Going two weeks now, we started B6 and Mg on AX and somehow, we are starting to see some differences or changes in his behavior. We give him 100 mg of B6 and 250 mg of Mg per day. He is much, much calmer and has less of the mannerism he does on his hands/fingers all the time. He rarely does his "antics" of doing whatever things over and over and over again. A good example of this is open and close the book several times that you would be affected as he does not stop. He stopped things @ his own pace and when we intervened, it means protest on his part. Since last, last week, he does not pluck his eyebrows and eyelashes so these hairs are growing back again. The changes we see in him make us happy and calm.


He is still not yet a communicator that you would expect for a boy of his age. We keep on hoping though and that is what matters. We do not medicate him and this is the least of the things we have on our minds in order to help him.


AX is almost 12.5 years of age and his body and voice had changed. He is taller @ 5 feet and 1 inch and thinner compared to years before of being chubby. He has undergone puberty faster than I anticipated it. I think, I started noticing body changes when he turned 11 years old. It is still young age to enter puberty though I know adolescence period is around the corner.


He likes Caucasian girls or shall I say, he prefers them. He likes Katy Perry, Pink, Lady Gaga and some of the songs of Adele. He listens to Get Lucky by Daft Punk and Wrecking Ball of a young performer.


He likes going to coolmath website and keeps on typing on google.com for words he does not know or for things or words he likes to search or know more about. He uses the images section of google.com to help him understand something. He plays Minecraft together with his brother, sister and father. This is his current top favorite thing to do. Hence, he keeps asking for the tablet. 


He eats more fruits like strawberry, banana, apple, grape, orange, melon, watermelon, blueberry and mango. I give him and his brother their morning fruits on the plate before they eat their rice, hotdog and egg. The egg is usually mixed with mixed vegetables or potatoes or tomatoes and onion. He gets less to nothing of sugary foods and I make sure, he does not indulge. I would rather throw the ice cream than have him consume it all. The kids' viand usually have vegetables even though the second boy complains a bit. AX eats the vegetables with zest.


We have volunteered him to be part of a research study @ Albert Einstein Medical Center in Bronx. It started last 12/2013 and this 2/2014, we will go back there again.


As usual, we are still sparring with the school in terms of placement. The school wants to put him in MD and remove him from his present LLD.  I do not think, problems with school will ever be gone and remember the people here should know better but they want to segregate students with disabilities from the general population. You can not tell me differently as this is the 3rd state we have lived in and we have the same problems or issues with the schools. I will relate more on this in another post.