From my diary where I usually write (around early 2007)

Many times, a child's innocence is better than live with another experienced adult. It teaches you to enjoy simple things in life and appreciate them. A child's joy and laughter is nothing compared to an adult's fictitious laugh and endless chatters. As adults, we are programmed to do mundane things the society and for that matter, the ruling government and bureaucracy expect us to do. We have children and we also felt the need that they also follow our tedious life in this society. Having been married for almost seven years and with two children in tow, there are many life-altering lessons learned along the way. It is not an easy task to be parents. The things and events that your parents have undergone are coming to you like recycled plastics. I did not even dream in my wildest imagination that some of the things I am experiencing right now are the very things I have seen from the dilemmas my parents faced when we were growing up. It is just so funny. What comes around, goes around like they always say.

AX is a child 5 years of age and hardly talking at all. The so called professionals diagnosed him as having autism. He has been living under the umbrella for 2 years as a child with autism because he is not in par with kids of his age when it comes to communication. He is categorized as having the speech communication of a normal boy less than 2 years of age. Indeed, AL, his younger brother, has far more words he utters than that of AX. He is basically autistic because he can not talk like normal kids of his age. The reasons are unknown that not even the professionals and well-researched studies can explain such condition at present. In other aspects of life, he is developing normally and as far as I can tell, he may be advanced in other fields compared to children of his age. What are the stumbling blocks then? For one, he is having behavioral problems in school. The adults assigned to him and that includes his Kindergarten teacher, seem like, they think of him as a nuisance. He does not follow readily the things or commands the teacher tells him. He disobeys or does not follow as the teacher and his speech therapist told us. He can not do this and that. "I am giving him a lower 2, actually, it should be 3 because he just do not understand things." Impossible. Insanely impossible. What I believe is this: The teacher is not doing the things she should be doing. She may not even spend enough time or the allotted time for AX to learn things. AX does not follow, she does not do anything. She thinks very low of AX like he is a dumb person. He does not do this and that therefore, he can not do this and that. Another thing that Marco related to me yesterday, they do not have a respect on what the boy can do. I believe that is true. I have seen two instances when I dropped him off to school in the mornings, one staff member just pointed with her forefinger to AX to put his bag and lunch bag in the corner right after the door. The other time, it was the autistic coach, who just did almost the same thing as the staff member - cautioning AX to drop his bag and lunch bag in the corner. No language communication ensued. It is like the boy is a prisoner and that he just knows sign language, which he does not, unfortunately. They should have told him the commands by opening their mouths. They did not.

The horizons last week and this week became all the more gloomy for AX because this time around, I insisted that they are hurting AX physically when he does not comply. His home note states: "Does not want to come in, 3 staff members to bring him back in." Heck, the times when I see more than 2 staff members escorting someone is when a prisoner is in the maximum security facility or when a guy going to court is an extreme menace like a "terrorist." AX is an average height for his age and 43 pounds and being escorted by 3 staff member who are adults? Surely, that is a sign that some of these people are getting tax payers' money and doing nothing. Many times, they are heavy adults as many Americans are full-sized figures. Last week was very important and I should have noted it but let it go believing the incident will not happen anew. He came home one day last week with heavy finger marks on his upper left arm. These faded away like 4 days or so. It is hard to see this boy being hurt by people who do not believe in him nor have shown love to him. He can not talk and it is hard to get real facts from him. Surely, these people from school will tell their side of the story but not the real thing. They need to defend themselves and their positions.

I am just so exhausted with all the things happening to AX. His speech problem is becoming a darn impediment in school as well as his stubbornness. I do not deny that the boy is stubborn. He can be stubborn at times but the moment an adult knows how to impose his authority and at the same time loving, he readily complies albeit reluctantly at times.

The boy is just 5 years of age and all these things are occurring? I do not know but it seems the road ahead is bumpy and I need to fasten my seatbelt tight.