Update: 16 years old and still with autism part 2

The clashes with the school districts have always been a part of us. We are really so popular somehow as much I as dislike it to the max. Perhaps, it will never end as Ax is on his 11th grade and we are still unclear if he will stay at the public school after graduation. Unfortunately, he has still no good control of himself and with this I mean, anger. It is surreal that even with smallest things, he can get angry. Well, it also happens to normal persons but for kids with autism, it is 10 times more unsettling to have their anger be exposed especially as they grow older.

I mentioned the school districts because we have been to three states and the story remains the same. Perhaps, that is our fate when it comes to our son with autism. I hate the word autism because it always mean a struggle, a fight for someone who can not help themselves and this brings frustration to us since we just want normalcy in our lives. Although this problem has not yet severed our marriage, our relationship with our son with autism and our relationship with the two other kids, we have anxieties of what the future is in store for us. I always hope that we will be able to cope and that "this too, shall pass" will always be there for us.

3/23/2018

Update: 16 years old and still with autism

It seems like it is forever in time that we will deal with autism of Ax. I hope there will be an end to it since he is getting older and we, as a family, are all getting older. That is the danger of having a kid with this kind of disability. The fear envelopes you. I think, it would be a better case if you are dealing with poverty than with autism. Every now and then, I ask Ax's two other siblings questions when they are all adults, how will they treat Ax. Somehow it is changing based on how Ax presents himself. There are times since 2 summer school periods ago that he is getting angrier. Halfway when he was 14 years old, he was just angry most of the time. There would be good days but somehow the dark clouds will always cover the bright blue skies. We were always on the edge that the school will call us to pick up the student or that we will have to talk to the assistant principal. That is the kind of thing we confront from day to day since Ax was not himself at all. I felt pity and angry at the same time because we were helpless in making a change for the better. It is Ax who has to pick up the pieces and be responsible for his actions. His parents are just there for support. I know we are doing all we can to avert any negative actions so much as we would like to have bed of roses, it can not be.

Fucking Powerpuff Girls mesmerized him like he had to create havoc once he sees them. He watched  them on his own even though we kept telling him not to load the video in youtube.com. It was blocked in all the computers, tablets and laptops in the house but he was still able to see them. He just looked at them jump and uttered non-sense and will do this forever. We broke the cycle all the time but he kept doing the mesmerizing stiff gaze. All of these took place in 2016 and 2017. He damaged the wall, he shouted, he wailed, he cried, he stumped his feet, he threw his hands on the air, he hit us, he was angry and then he stopped. He stopped. The menace stopped. It just fucking stopped and that's about it.

Towards the middle to end of December 2017, he was beginning to be at peace and for whatever reasons peace settled for like 4 months now, it is better to just flow with the water. We could have not been happier with this development and for that, we are thankful.

At present, he makes himself busy with opening and closing his teeth, clashing them like a bunny eating carrots and making a sound. He walks and walks around that house and just stops in wherever place he is and stares at whatever for a long time. He can be stopped but he does it again. At this point, you do not know if one thing that was lost, another thing comes up to replace it. This is better but at the same time very annoying since he might damage his teeth. Another thing that he does over and over is watching the same movie repeatedly.