I have written this way back in first to 2nd quarter of 2012 in our quest for a private school that have the benefits of being with neuro-typical students housed in the same building. In northern NJ, many of them or shall I say, almost all of them, the private schools do not have a mixture of neuro-typical and students with disabilities. I do not like this set-up because we are not living in a segregated world just like the stark experiences of Blacks and Whites. Students with disabilities have to be incorporated or included in this world of ours. Of course, there are parents who have different views but all we want is what is best for our children.
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We have been looking for a private school for AX and so far, we have seen three of them within the county. We are looking for a school that somehow mirrors what he has in the public school and that is, surrounded by neuro-typical children. I know I would not find one but still I put aside the doubts and hope that there is something in the private schools that AX may be able to fit in. As expected, the private schools we visited are not suited for him although one has humane touch in it but enriching the mind is far from their goals. I was told that all schools know that their children will not reach or go to college. I am not saying that going to college is the ultimate goal. I just want AX to enjoy what other kids of his age are enjoying. In this coming school year, we will take AX back to his school. I hope for the best.
The South Bergen Jointure Commission (SBJC) in Lodi is located in front of a nunnery and beside a small cemetery perhaps, for the nuns. The assistant principal is knowledgeable and explained to us their mission/services. SBJC houses students with autism and children with multiple disabilities until age 21. It is a pretty neat place but very empty. It has more classrooms and staffs than students studying there. I got alarmed with this ratio. The Math room, computer room, PE rooms were vacant. The computer teacher was busy poking his cellphone and immediately hid it the moment he saw us coming. There were no students inside. The Math room is quite neat since the textbooks and exercise books are hardly untouched. We saw some students who were the ages of AX and they are probably Jewish. The students went in front of the nunnery building where there is a gazebo and well-manicured grass/lawn. The scene reminds me of the movie, Shutter Island, when Leonardo went to the mental hospital to do some investigation. He and his colleague passed by the widespread beautiful lawn where the mentally-ill patients are busy doing their businesses.
The second private school we visited was Phoenix Center in Nutley, NJ. It was really a pain to go here from our place just like the third private school that I will mention later. It was raining heavily on the day of our visit. The drive in Garden State Parkway was like visiting Hades and I had to make sure to read every exit. It was hard to find a parking space when I finally located the school. I saw the front of the school and parked in front just like all the other cars of parents or their helpers taking the kids to school. Many arrived late due to the inclement weather. The front office has this stern lady whose voice reminds me of the lead actress in 101 Dalmatians. The case manager or the person-in-charge arrived late and somehow immediately showed us the classrooms. The children with disabilities were mostly young. It was nice to see that set-up and any parents would immediately fall to help and still aim for a better future. There are also classrooms with children who are restrained. One child was far away from his peers and was with his male assistant. We were told that the child would be overwhelmed when he is with the group so he was seated within a significant distance from the rest just like he has leprosy. On another side note, the building is very suffocating. Its windows are all closed. If I am not mistaken, the gym is underground and there is another level below that they are using. Actually, my head hurt during the tour.
Our third private school is in Montclair, NJ. The school is called Sawtelle Learning Center. It is somehow affiliated with YCS. I view children with autism no matter how wild, how disconnect, how timid, how muted, how talkative as children who can still think. During and after visiting Sawtelle, all my fears of what other people are doing to children with autism came into light. You see, a floor below the main office is a room where we saw a kid blocked in a corner with a table and two female adults were somehow restraining him. The poor black boy was being hurt. The older female grabbed the boy's head and tilted it backwards. The boy was fighting back and shouting. All the while that this was happening I noticed that the lights were off. The moment our backs were facing them the lights were on. It was hard to see how a skimpy kid is restrained by two female adults. It is just not right. In one classroom, the teen boy was wimping and we asked his age. He managed to answer. The principal said, he is just acting up (in reference to his wimping). One big boy in his teenage years was on his seat and on his desk was a piece of paper. He is tasked to do adding single digits just like Kindergarteners. I can not believe how low these people in the school think of these kids but it is really disheartening to see the kids who are rocking on their seats and looking blankly on the walls. The staff members are adequate in number, I think. It is just that when we went there, it seems like the kids were all over. Many are not attended adequately. A big boy in his teens was on the floor for quite some time and the 2 teachers are on their nerves most likely because the visitors (us and another parent) were there. It was disheartening to see him in that state and all the others are looking at us like they have seen for the first time some people outside of the building.
We went to a fourth school and I believe, it is Washington South Program in Paramus. This is a public school. If I am not mistaken, this building is like a hospital from the outside and it is surrounded by different government offices. Once we got here, the place is like entering a hospital for the mentally-ill people! In one hallway, we passed by a boy who did not want to go with the paraprofessional so he dropped himself to the floor. The paraprofessional was having a hard time dealing with the student who was about less than 10 years of age. I noticed that in one classroom with young kids like 5 years old, the atmosphere was good. It seems like the personnel believe that these students with disabilities can still be rescued or helped. That is always the case in many public and private schools I have been into. However, as the students age, the desire to educate them (with modifications or significant modifications) just like they are typical students, lessen. It is just sad. The school has a big gym and also an OT kind of room. I think, AX was with me when we were seeing this school as I remember he wanted to play with some of the furniture/toys in the OT room. The lady in-charge is accommodating but somehow reserved. If I remember correctly, many of the students there stay for good and will not or have not been returned to their respective districts.
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